The Interior Castle and the Kingdom

"... there is a self-forgetfulness which is so complete that it really seems as though the soul no longer existed, because it is such that she has neither knowledge nor remembrance that there is either heaven or life or honor for her, so entirely is she employed in seeking the honor of God. It appears that the words which His Majesty addressed to her have produced their effect -- namely, that she must take care of His business and He will take care of hers. And thus, happen what may, she does not mind in the least, but lives in so strange a state of forgetfulness that, as I say, she seems no longer to exist, and has no desire to exist -- no, absolutely none -- save when she realizes that she can do something to advance the glory and honor of God, for which she would gladly lay down her life." St. Teresa of Avila

The Ecstasy of St. Teresa

St. Teresa of Avila, or Teresa of Jesus, was a contemporary of Queen Elizabeth I, who at the age of 17 left home to devote her life to prayer and contemplation. Her experiences in prayer were so intense, her visions so intimate, that she caused quite a stir among her peers.

She found in prayer that as she learned to despise the things that distracted her, she was able to draw closer to the Object of her desire, and that her desire for Him grew to a place where she could no longer be distracted.

I'm struggling with how this fits with the teaching that the Kingdom of God is here, now. That all in the world is created by God, and is being redeemed. That all that God made was good. I believe this. I believe it is scriptural. But, I also believe that Teresa and many others found something else just as scriptural. They found the Kingdom of God within themselves. And, it took shutting out the good things of this world to find it.

It's that little Catholic girl in me again, knowing that there's something to all this. That this devotion to prayer and denial of earthly things isn't simply an austere philosophy imposed upon weak minded plebs to keep us under control. (It can be, of course, for the legalist.) No, there's something about this I'm missing. That I've forgotten, and I'm beginning to remember.

"It is absurd to think that we can enter Heaven without first entering our own souls -- without getting to know ourselves, and reflecting upon the wretchedness of our nature and what we owe to God, and continually imploring His mercy. " St. Teresa of Avila