Oh, The Humanity!
I hate it when my body betrays me as being mortal.
Not that I think I'm a super goddess. It's just that sometimes having my brain in my body is inconvenient.
I was in a business meeting this morning, to which, for reasons beyond my control, I was five minutes late. About 10 minutes into the meeting and after a sip of coffee (of course), I felt it coming...a big stomach growl. I find stomach growls to be deceiving. Because I feel them more than I hear them coming from me, I tend to think no one else hears me. Until they let me know they heard me.
Our Deputy Health Officer was sitting next to me at the table, and after my stomach growled he twitched his leg. Okay, I thought...he didn't hear me, he's just twitchy. Whew. Well, then came the second wave. Crap! Here it comes...RRRRROOOWWWW! At that point, he looked at me and grinned. Then, when I thought he was going to comment on my volume control problem, he asked me a business question pertaining to the subject at hand. My concerns being divided at the moment, I stared back at him blankly and stammeringly blurted a response that I think may have been coherent.
Then (oh yes, then), the receptionist popped her head in the door to ask me if I had an appointment with Al Kramer. Well, she got the name wrong (sorry Ali), and I was stimied because she was interrupting the meeting for a personal appointment I had with him. Again, I stammered something, and as she shut the door and eyes were just starting to turn away from me, wave three hit. RRRRROOOWWW!!!
At that point I just gave up. I growled through the rest of the meeting and all the way out. Deputy Bill snickered and told me to get some breakfast. Okay Bill.
So we have these meetings where we have to take our bodies and they might do things we wish they wouldn't. And we wish they wouldn't because other people with bodies that do the same things will think we're from outer space. It's really a game of Russian Roulette; who's stomach will growl, who will burp, or fart, or sneeze, or get a face twitch (oh yeah, that's happened to me too), or have a flake of snot hanging just outside their nose. No matter what a person has to offer at a meeting, their contributions will be minimized by their body betrayal.
"You know Pat, the one who had that idea about the phone system?"
"Oh, you mean the chic with the snot in her left nostril??"
Sheeeesh.
(Welcome to my audience, Al & Jenn!)
Not that I think I'm a super goddess. It's just that sometimes having my brain in my body is inconvenient.
I was in a business meeting this morning, to which, for reasons beyond my control, I was five minutes late. About 10 minutes into the meeting and after a sip of coffee (of course), I felt it coming...a big stomach growl. I find stomach growls to be deceiving. Because I feel them more than I hear them coming from me, I tend to think no one else hears me. Until they let me know they heard me.
Our Deputy Health Officer was sitting next to me at the table, and after my stomach growled he twitched his leg. Okay, I thought...he didn't hear me, he's just twitchy. Whew. Well, then came the second wave. Crap! Here it comes...RRRRROOOWWWW! At that point, he looked at me and grinned. Then, when I thought he was going to comment on my volume control problem, he asked me a business question pertaining to the subject at hand. My concerns being divided at the moment, I stared back at him blankly and stammeringly blurted a response that I think may have been coherent.
Then (oh yes, then), the receptionist popped her head in the door to ask me if I had an appointment with Al Kramer. Well, she got the name wrong (sorry Ali), and I was stimied because she was interrupting the meeting for a personal appointment I had with him. Again, I stammered something, and as she shut the door and eyes were just starting to turn away from me, wave three hit. RRRRROOOWWW!!!
At that point I just gave up. I growled through the rest of the meeting and all the way out. Deputy Bill snickered and told me to get some breakfast. Okay Bill.
So we have these meetings where we have to take our bodies and they might do things we wish they wouldn't. And we wish they wouldn't because other people with bodies that do the same things will think we're from outer space. It's really a game of Russian Roulette; who's stomach will growl, who will burp, or fart, or sneeze, or get a face twitch (oh yeah, that's happened to me too), or have a flake of snot hanging just outside their nose. No matter what a person has to offer at a meeting, their contributions will be minimized by their body betrayal.
"You know Pat, the one who had that idea about the phone system?"
"Oh, you mean the chic with the snot in her left nostril??"
Sheeeesh.
(Welcome to my audience, Al & Jenn!)
1 Comments:
BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
My favorite is when you forget to properly cleanse your hands after wiping, then you go to itch a scratch above your eye and as you're sitting in the meeting you keep smelling this AWFUL smell, like someone poopied in the corner. But no, it's you with poopoo in your eyebrow!!
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